Servant vs Slave

Have you noticed that the word servant is being used instead of the word "slave" in many places with not only my own events, but in BDSM spaces in general?

This is not an accident, it is done purposely.

The word "slave" in the BDSM world, describes someone who wishes to be/feel owned by someone and in service

to them. That word was so perfect and fitting as it described the power disparity the slave wished to feel. They did not

want to be a butler or an assistant. The word "servant" did not fit the lowness they wanted to feel in their service role.

They wanted to be a slave. So much lower than their Master or Mistress. The word brought upon a certain "no matter what" feeling to the service they wanted to experience, almost limitless.

Once in a while, the word "slave" did not feel good for a service-oriented submissive. The word felt too cruel for the role they took on. They did not feel their submission came with such a "low" feeling, such a huge disparity of power. So sometimes they would just call themselves a chattel or service-oriented sub.

Once in a blue moon, the word felt wrong or hurtful. Like a slur. Sometimes, this was felt by someone of color, etc but not all people of color etc have felt offended by the word at all.

While I have not personally experienced someone who told me the word offended them, I have told people that I felt the word slave didn't fit their role and that they were more of a "service sub." To me, a service sub is someone who serves but doesn't wish to feel so absolutely lowly and while they put their dominant first, the disparity of power isn't as extreme in their dynamics.

Today, many kinky people who are NOT service-oriented at all, who do not understand service submission and how the word "slave" is fitting and enjoyed by some and why, are now in our current day, wanting to abolish the use of the word and its now considered to be offensive, especially by young kinksters who barely have any BDSM experience at all. Which is infuriating to most of us.

I do not agree with this and neither does most of my industry, my industry which is made up of some of the kindest, most understanding, most accepting people in the world. I believe it is a word that describes a role someone truly wishes to feel on a certain deep level. I believe this is taking away many people's right to have the identity described that they resonate with. I have worked with hundreds of those who identify this way, and the word they feel fits them perfectly is "slave." This is not "living and let live" and "sometimes someone else's kink is darker/deeper than yours, let consenting adults be consenting adults" and "don't kink-shame."

However, just because I do not agree does not mean I am right, or that I have to continue writing or saying something that is offensive to others.

So I have done my part to begin the process of no longer using the word, as best I can since it is a change in our industry and scene we can't really do much about at the moment.

If you did not know before, you know now.